Happiness
Do you ever wonder what truly makes up happiness in your life? I know many of us say “I just want to be happy,” when asked what we want in life, but we all know too well that being happy is easier said than done at times. While listening to the “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin on my commute to work, I quickly became intrigued by happiness when she mentioned that 50% of our happiness is determined by genetics, 40% of happiness comes from our thoughts and actions, and the final 10% comes from external circumstances.
50% - Genetics:
I didn’t realize this, but some people are born looking at the glass half full, while others are born looking at the glass half empty. Some scientists call this 50% the ‘set point’ for our happiness, since it is ultimately something that is out of our control and based upon our genetic disposition. So if you happen to have a genetic makeup that causes you to be more pessimistic than others, don’t worry because there’s still a big chunk of happiness that we can control.
40%- Thoughts & Actions:
What we do, how we think, and how we act in the everyday situations of our lives makes up 40% of our happiness. That’s a lot of happiness that is in our direct control on a daily basis if you ask me. This is the bucket where we have the opportunity to increase our levels of happiness by controlling our thoughts and actions to create a happiness level above our genetic makeup. Professor and researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky lays out 12 different activities (based on extensive research) that can increase our satisfaction. As you know, everyone is different and we all have different ‘set points’ of happiness, so some activities and strategies may work better than others.
1. Expressing Gratitude
2. Cultivating Optimism
3. Avoiding Over-thinking and Social Comparison
4. Practicing Acts of Kindness
5. Nurturing Social Relationships
6. Developing Strategies for Coping
7. Learning to Forgive
8. Increasing Flow Experiences
9. Savoring Life’s Joys
10. Committing to Your Goals
11. Practicing Religion and Spirituality
12. Taking Care of Your Body
I will pose this question to you: How are you influencing and impacting your state of mind to cultivate happiness?
10% - External Circumstances:
When I found out that only 10% of our happiness is made up from whom we marry, our financial status, job, living situation, image, and so on, I was pretty shocked. This is purely fascinating to me since society places so much pressure on us to have well-paying jobs or a size 0 figure. Many people strive to achieve the 6 figure salary or Victoria’s Secret model body, but once these things are attained, an individual’s level of happiness only increases a small amount and for a short amount of time. What this tells me is that striving to achieve the items listed above is fine, but it may not be the best method for providing sustainable happiness. I am sure you’re probably wondering why the happiness (or sadness) felt after buying of a new pair of shoes or getting the promotion is so short lived. The answer: adaptation. Regardless of the good or bad things that happen to us, we adapt to these circumstances and they no longer hold the same emotional value.
Food for thought: “Think about the last time you worked hard to accomplish something or bought something you really wanted. How long did the buzz last? How long before those positive emotions were replaced with the desire for the next thing?"
Conclusion:
What this has taught me is that we are in control, to a certain extent, of our happiness. While happiness may not always come easy, I think it is true to say we should re-evaluate what truly makes us happy. We should ask ourselves if the new car will increase our long-term happiness or if spending quality time fostering relationships with our friends will increase our happiness. Take some time to ponder your happiness and how it is incorporated into who you are and how you are.
“It’s really easy to be distracted by the way we think we ought to be, or the way we wish we were, or the way other people think we ought to be, and to lose track of what’s really true for us.”