Experiences vs. Things...How do you spend your discretionary income?

I’m sure I’m not the only person that has noticed more people spending time traveling, attending concerts like Burning Man or hiking through a national forest. Maybe it’s the presence of social media consuming our everyday lives that makes it more apparent, but maybe it’s not.   Is it possible that people are starting to realize that experiences can bring a vast amount of happiness into our lives… even more than a new smartphone or car? While we all get to choose how we allocate our discretionary income, it seems to me that more people, especially millennials, are learning the value in experiences and spending their money on them.

For example

Ally and Amy can bond for 5 minutes over whether Ally got the Iphone 6S or the Iphone 6S plus, but, after those 5 minutes are gone, neither cares about who got what Iphone. I can guarantee you that Ally and Amy would share a deeper connection to one another if they both bonded about their experiences traveling in Spain or attending a recent music festival.

Why?

Material things aren’t a part of us, but our experiences make up our identity. We are the sum of our experiences and shared experiences will allow for deeper connections to others rather than shared consumption. It relates to my previous post in which I spoke about adaptation. We feel an excitement when we go to the Apple store and show off our new Iphone to our friends, but who is still stoked on it 5 months later?  I can’t imagine that many people having that same level of happiness 5 months later with respect to their smartphone. Why? We adapt.

Policy shifting

Maybe this is why more companies are allowing for flexible vacation policies. I don't recall my parents ever telling me that they had the opportunity to work for a company with unlimited PTO.  Times are clearly changing. These companies, predominantly within the technology industry, realize that Gen Y and even other generations feel more fulfilled in life when they have the opportunity to experience what life has to offer and make memories. People will recall the memories from a wonderful (or even bad) experience, and use it to tell a story, make a connection, or learn a life lesson. Maybe it’s time for you to check out a company with flexible PTO so you can have more memorable experiences if your excuse is “work.”

Personal Experience

I am all about experiences. I may look like a girly girl, but at the end of the day I would much rather be researching my next trip abroad instead of where to buy the latest fashion trend. I know at the end of the day, the fashion trend will fade, but my memories from my trip abroad will remain with me through pictures, people, and my personal identity.

I feel so grateful every time I have the opportunity to go hike in a national park, travel to a new place, or listen to a new band. Not only do these experiences allow me to learn about another culture, nature, history and more, but most importantly I learn about myself during these journeys.  

Challenge

My challenge to you is to take inventory of all the times you have the happiest, and see whether that happiness was attributed to a “thing” and an “experience.” I guarantee you will come to the conclusion that the experiences in your life are more valuable to you than certain material possessions. My advice to you is to reconsider or take a second look at how you’re allocating your discretionary income based on what truly makes you happy.

Happiness

Do you ever wonder what truly makes up happiness in your life? I know many of us say “I just want to be happy,” when asked what we want in life, but we all know too well that being happy is easier said than done at times. While listening to the “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin on my commute to work, I quickly became intrigued by happiness when she mentioned that 50% of our happiness is determined by genetics, 40% of happiness comes from our thoughts and actions, and the final 10% comes from external circumstances.

50% - Genetics:

I didn’t realize this, but some people are born looking at the glass half full, while others are born looking at the glass half empty. Some scientists call this 50% the ‘set point’ for our happiness, since it is ultimately something that is out of our control and based upon our genetic disposition. So if you happen to have a genetic makeup that causes you to be more pessimistic than others, don’t worry because there’s still a big chunk of happiness that we can control.

40%- Thoughts & Actions:

What we do, how we think, and how we act in the everyday situations of our lives makes up 40% of our happiness. That’s a lot of happiness that is in our direct control on a daily basis if you ask me. This is the bucket where we have the opportunity to increase our levels of happiness by controlling our thoughts and actions to create a happiness level above our genetic makeup. Professor and researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky lays out 12 different activities (based on extensive research) that can increase our satisfaction. As you know, everyone is different and we all have different ‘set points’ of happiness, so some activities and strategies may work better than others.

1. Expressing Gratitude
2. Cultivating Optimism
3. Avoiding Over-thinking and Social Comparison
4. Practicing Acts of Kindness
5. Nurturing Social Relationships
6. Developing Strategies for Coping
7. Learning to Forgive
8. Increasing Flow Experiences
9. Savoring Life’s Joys
10. Committing to Your Goals
11. Practicing Religion and Spirituality
12. Taking Care of Your Body

I will pose this question to you: How are you influencing and impacting your state of mind to cultivate happiness?

10% - External Circumstances:

When I found out that only 10% of our happiness is made up from whom we marry, our financial status, job, living situation, image, and so on, I was pretty shocked. This is purely fascinating to me since society places so much pressure on us to have well-paying jobs or a size 0 figure. Many people strive to achieve the 6 figure salary or Victoria’s Secret model body, but once these things are attained, an individual’s level of happiness only increases a small amount and for a short amount of time. What this tells me is that striving to achieve the items listed above is fine, but it may not be the best method for providing sustainable happiness. I am sure you’re probably wondering why the happiness (or sadness) felt after buying of a new pair of shoes or getting the promotion is so short lived. The answer: adaptation. Regardless of the good or bad things that happen to us, we adapt to these circumstances and they no longer hold the same emotional value.

Food for thought: “Think about the last time you worked hard to accomplish something or bought something you really wanted.  How long did the buzz last? How long before those positive emotions were replaced with the desire for the next thing?"

Conclusion:

What this has taught me is that we are in control, to a certain extent, of our happiness. While happiness may not always come easy, I think it is true to say we should re-evaluate what truly makes us happy. We should ask ourselves if the new car will increase our long-term happiness or if spending quality time fostering relationships with our friends will increase our happiness. Take some time to ponder your happiness and how it is incorporated into who you are and how you are.

“It’s really easy to be distracted by the way we think we ought to be, or the way we wish we were, or the way other people think we ought to be, and to lose track of what’s really true for us.”

— Gretchen Rubin

Daily Inspiration: Steve Jobs

“How many of us have jobs we hate? How many of us live our lives in misery because we’re too scared to take risks? The greatest joy comes from living a life outside of our comfort zones, where we live vulnerably and authentically. We are called not to live sheltered lives but to boldly live our purpose.”

Acupuncture

If any of you know me personally, you are fully aware that I am suffering from patellofemoral pain syndrome (aka runners knee). Long story short, I got this disorder from overuse (too much running, jumping etc.) and knees that don’t track straight. I do physical therapy like it’s my job (no joke), but haven’t seen the improvements I was hoping for. As an athlete and someone who actually enjoys working out and running (weird right?), this has been devastating for me.  I decided to resort to something that entailed overcoming my fear of needles: acupuncture.

I think it’s important to understand the basics of this ancient health practice that dates back thousands of years. I am going to break it down for you plain and simple.

What the heck is it?

Accupuncture is believed to regulate energy flow, also known as Qi (pronounced chee), which is essential for good health. Through stimulation (aka poking needles in your skin) at various anatomical locations, acupuncture can correct any imbalances or disruptions of the Qi.

Does it hurt?

Fortunately, acupuncture is painless! The needs are so small you don’t even feel them being put in.

What can acupuncture treat?

Acupuncture doesn’t only treat pain. This practice has been known to help with anything from allergies and insomnia to fertility enhancement or anxiety. You would be surprised at the long list of things acupuncture can treat.

Fun fact!

Acupuncture is over 5,000 years old and is one of the oldest practicing forms of medicine known to date.

Conclusion:

To be quite honest, I truly enjoyed acupuncture. Not only did my knees feel better, but also my appointment was extremely relaxing. The acupuncturist dimmed the lights and played meditation music, which isn’t a bad way to spend a lunch break in my opinion.  If you are like me and want to avoid cortisone shots or taking Excedrin for every migraine, acupuncture might be a great alternative to consider. If you try it, let me know how you liked it!

Book review: The 4-Hour Workweek

“What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.”

— Timothy Ferriss

Have you ever wondered how you can work while lying on a beach in Thailand? This sounded like some sort of fairy tale if you asked me prior to reading Tim Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Workweek.  I am sure that many of you ponder things like “Well that was a pointless meeting” or “Why did I even come into the office today?” If you’re anything like me and constantly wanderlust, then you are contemplating how to merge your passion for travel while maintaining a steady income.  Luckily, this isn’t impossible and Tim Ferriss lays out a step-by-step guide on how to become a member of what he coins the “new rich.”

The book is laid out in four steps:

Step 1: D is for Definition

This entails defining your objectives. What’s important to you? What are your goals? What do you really want in life? What are you putting off out of fear?

Bottom line of definition is that one question we’ve all heard before- “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

What I learned from Tim in these first four chapters is that the most important actions are never comfortable. We often make excuses for not pursuing our dreams. We tend to think the worst case scenario will play out, but what Tim points out is that it is highly unlikely for this to happen… and to a certain extent I agree. He urges us to take steps towards living out our dreams by outlining them with everything from costs, steps to get there, timeframes and more. I think Tim does a great job in reminding us that “inaction is the greatest risk of all” and our dreams really aren’t as far away as they may seem.  

Step 2: E is for Elimination

The title of this step pretty much says it all: eliminating activities that take up time and add no value.  A perfect example is this conference call in real life (video).

These next three chapters provide advice and insight on how to get rid of anything that doesn’t add value and tools to be more efficient and productive (i.e. a website blocker for all you Facebook addicts). With today’s world giving fast paced a whole new meaning than ever before, I think some of these tools are helpful, yet easier said than done. There are some useful tools he suggests in this chapter, such as setting an agenda for a meeting so it doesn’t turn into a time wasting exercise. Another helpful tip is to stop multi-tasking. This is very difficult for me to do when I tried it out since I work in a fast-paced work environment, but once I focused all my attention on one thing at a time, the results were actually surprising. I built my financial models faster and with fewer errors than ever before (bonus points with the bosses!). I highly recommend trying out some of these elimination tools… you never know where you’ll end up!

Step 3: A is for Automation

I think the four chapters on automation are where people begin to set the book down because this is when the tough gets going. The beginning of this section focuses on utilizing virtual assistants to help with everything from paying credit card bills to creating market research reports (aka outsourcing). There are definite risks to outsourcing tasks, including costs and work quality. On the flip side, you can have someone generating an outstanding market research report for you while you’re sleeping for only $15 USD, saving you time and effort.

Ferriss transitions into giving several examples of ways to earn thousands of dollars a month, while doing the bare minimum. He explains that automating income is important- i.e you can’t be working from a beach in Thailand if you decide to open a restaurant in your hometown. Having a stream of automated income, whether it be an E-book or licensing a product, is a vital aspect to achieving the 4-Hour Workweek.

Step 4: L is for Liberation

The last step in Tim Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Workweek ties all the loose odds and ends together so that you can have the freedom you have always envisioned. Within the first section of Liberation, Tim provides steps on how to slowly remove yourself from yourself from the 9-5 (or later) work environment to a remote work space. Of course, you must prove to your manager that he/she can trust you, and that your productivity increases as a result of this remote work agreement. But, not all managers are going to agree with remotely working, so it may be time to jump ship. What’s the worst that can happen? You get one step closer to achieving your dreams?

So what’s next? You got to the 4 hour work week at this point and have 36 more hours of free time. What do you do? Maybe it’s time to get involved with charities, or learning a new language. You must continue to find ways to add value to your life. Remember: “The enemy of happiness is boredom.”

Conclusion:

The steps in Tim Ferriss’ book are much easier said than done, BUT I do think this is great read for anyone who wants to be one step closer to achieving his/her dreams. I learned a lot while reading this book, with topics ranging from marketing to manufacturing. All of the topics in his book definitely created questions for me, and reminded me that I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to.

Tim Ferriss also has a blog with helpful tools related to the 4-Hour Workweek and I suggest taking a look if you have some free time!

“The fishing is best where the fewest go, and the collective insecurity of the world makes it easy for people to hit home runs while everyone else is aiming for base hits. ”

— Timothy Ferriss